More energy, less head throwing.

   This new feed combo is awesome. I'm so excited I finally found the right combo that works for Udex! Anyways, today during my lesson he had the most perfect amount of energy.. Which means? No head throwing! The entire time I was riding he didn't throw his head a once. At the very end when I was talking to my friend and had him in a halt, he tossed it about two or three times, but that was it. Yipeee! I'm sooo happy! It was really great to ride toss free! It wasn't an intense or hard work out today. Mainly just circles. The circles were pretty good though, possibly a few of my best circles my entire time riding Udex. The way he was bent around my leg, rounded, and staying perfectly on the circle track pleased me. (and of course, no head throwing which just added to my happiness.)
   So not much to say about today's lesson other then the fact we did lots of circles. Udex is stubborn and is getting a little sour when it comes to cantering. When I bring out my friend; the whip, Udex usually starts to realize I'm serious and not just playing around. He leg yielded nice! Haunches in still needs a bit of work, he knows more then haunches in and wants to complicate things by either half passing, pirouetting, etc. It's difficult to ride such a well trained horse because you have to really ride him right in order for him to work. He knows so much that when you are even the slightest bit of on your aide you won't get anything you want.
   So today was a great day!! We are super close to throwing our head shaking battle away! Almost through this small chunk of his rollkur recovery battle! One more thing... I have changed my out look on insults that come my way. When people rattle of all the things that are wrong with my horse, I now look at it this way. "Thank you for telling me everything that's wrong with my horse. You have made it clear what I will fix, and make better. Everything you named wrong with him is everything that is just giving me more experience and my horse more happiness. So it's good the list goes on and on. It's just more tings to eventually name of on the completed list." So now I truly feel unstoppable with an outlook like that. Of course, things like that do hurt me, but having a more positive perspective on it really does change things and ease the hurt. So go ahead and throw insults at us... It won't hurt us, it will only make me more determined and even stronger to go out and do whats right for both me, and my horse!!!! It's those moments that make me the persona and rider I am today!

Sleepy, sleepy, sleepy horsey.

  Some days when I let Udex spend the night in the paddock, he becomes unbelievably sleepy. No; seriously... like dangerous tired. If I have him tied up and he is in a "sleepy" mood he will fall over. Usually I am able to scream or make a loud noise when his knees start to buckle in and prevent him from the actual falling.
   Anyways, yesterday before my lesson he kept on "buckling up" (as I like to call it.) This happened so many times. I knew that today was going to be one of those days where Udex was as stubborn as ever. Joyyy.
   So obviously our lesson was kind of blah. Lots of head throwing (Udex does this when he is tired!) Our leg yields, renvers, traverse, etc. was all done with a lot of head throwing and unwillingness. Poor Udex was just too sleepy!!!!
  No problem though! Not every day can he be perfect!!! I mean at least I actually got coffee this time, it was just a little cold! [see here for more information on that metaphor.] Anyways, even my trainer was fine with Udex. For being as sleepy as he was he was great!! When Udex get's sleepy he doesn't get impossible to make go. No, not at all. He has so much go, even when he is tired. When he gets tired he starts to throw his head, refuse the basic aids, and test you to all extremes. Leave it to my horse to become even more hot headed when he's tired!!
   So I'm off now to go make him his mushy feed of beet pulp, performance mix, power pellets, and corn oil! He is spending the night inside again so he gets a very well deserved sleep!!!

I wanted coffee, but I got ice tea instead.

   A friend once told me this...

"You treat your horse like you are eating at a restaurant for breakfast. You ask the waiter [your equine] for the coffee. He doesn't come right away with the coffee, so you wait patiently until it arrives. As soon as he brings the coffee to you, you say thank you and continue going on as you were before. Some days the waiter takes a little longer bringing you your coffee. You don't pester him though every two seconds "WHERE'S MY COFFEE!?" Instead you just wait and be patient." 

  Okay, so I hope I explained that as well as she explained it to me! Today while riding I asked for my coffee, but received ice tea instead. When that happens, you have to very kindly explain how you wanted coffee, not ice tea. However, after multiple tries you keep on receiving ice tea and the waiter is refusing to listen to you.. You do get a little frustrated. 

   Ah, so yes. Today I asked at least fifteen times for coffee from my horse, but he kept bringing on the ice tea. I was getting so annoyed. Some days it just gets to me. I think of only the problems my horse has and just start to focus on the negative. With every time he comes back with the ice tea, I just think more and more about what he isn't doing right, instead of what he is doing right. The head throwing, the stubbornness, the hot hotheadedness; the damage. It all just got me today. I couldn't help but feel so angry and humiliated as I was riding, and my trainer was shouting. 

  I repeatedly was asking for a simple leg yield, and every time he refused and would do total opposite of what I wanted. My trainer stood their, hands through her hair, on wits end yelling at me the simpleness of a leg yield. I can leg yield!!!! Today it just wasn't working. Ah! I felt so, so, so frustrated with both my horse and myself. No one likes to be yelled at by their dressage trainer... It just isn't fun! 

  So today my lesson was a majority of one stubborn horse, angry trainer, and frustrated rider.! 

  Towards the end of our unsuccessful lesson, I felt really terrible for being angry with my horse. It wasn't his fault at all. It finally hit me that maybe I was asking for coffee wrong, and speaking an entire different language. Perhaps my horse was just doing what he thought I was saying. After all, what if he had a really bad day, and I was expecting too much out of him. Not every ride can he be the exact horse I want him to be. So towards the end that's when I started to think how unfair I had been towards my poor Udex. 

I. Felt. Terrible.

  I gave the poor horse a very well deserved pat and decided to give his poor back a break and cool him down bareback. Those silent minutes walking around bareback really got me thinking. I felt so terrible for overlooking the fact poor Udex had been through so much. I can't understand why it was so hard for me to accept that today wasn't his (or my) day. I think that lately I had been taking too much good things for granted. Udex is recovering. I bought him knowing that it would be a long journey that is anything but easy. Thankfully during our bare back cool down I remembered that. I cuddled him for a bit and just thought about how it would feel to walk in his shoes.

  So I honestly think we had a day like this to humble me. It's something I really need to work at. From now on, I'm going to make sure I ask for coffee in the most polite, least confusing way. If I get ice tea, I'm going to think about what I originally ask for and see if there is another way to say I want coffee. If all else fails, then it's safe to say it's just a bad day, and I;m going to have to just make due with ice tea. Some days are just better then others. Today definitely wasn't one of them. But I'm okay with that. Actually, I'm thankful for it. Like I said, I'm just going to try to be more humble and straight forward.

I'm so PROUD!

   Oh my gosh.. Wow. I am so, so, so, SO proud of my boy! He was truly amazing today. Round the bit the entire time, so responsive to my leg.. and best of all, I was able to sit him. Now six months ago I couldn't even do rising trot due to Udex being a rocking horse from rollkur. A rocking horse is pretty much a horse who has his front and back moving at different paces, like; a rocking horse. You can imagine how difficult it must be to sit a horse with so much movement, extremely skinny, etc. Today I am so proud to say we are successfully doing sitting trot, and that it looks really well.
   I really don't feel like writing right now.. I will push on though and continue because I do want to look back on this one day.
   So pretty much Udex was amazing. I have videos and pictures but it is going to take too long to upload. He rounded his back making him so great to sit, was properly on the bit.. and our circles were amazing. So. Perfect. I am so proud I don't even know where to begin!!
 Okay, so trot. Trot was fantastico! He was round, collected, and truly amazing. I did a lot of sitting trot today!! I am soo proud of my seat!! I sit him really great, and especially great considering how difficult he is! I keep looking at the videos and feeling so proud of myself and my horse.! WOW!!!!
  Canter was also really great! Since Udex did so much and rounded his head and worked hard, we wanted to be easy on him and just did a bit of canter. The few minutes I did do of canter however was beautiful. He was so collected (I didn't realize how much until I watched the video!) also my seat in canter was exceptionally well! Yay!
  We had a bit of head throwing but not enough to stop me and riding him on the bit. Of course, he still does tend to hide behind the bit if I am the least bit hard on his mouth. (Thank you rollkur. ugh.) But his recovery has been going so well!! (-: I couldn't have wished for better!
   I have found that since I have started praying, reading the scriptures, and getting more involved with church again Udex has been going great. Just goes to show that blessings do come your way when you have faith in god and really mean it.
  I am so thankful for my pony, my great trainers, and wonderful family. (-: I can't imagine where I would be without them!!! I love them all soooo much!!!