Used and Abused.

  That's how I think of Udex. He was used, used, used some more, and the whole time abused. To be honest, I don't care who's using hyperflexion on a horse. Wether it be a beginner thinking that's the right way to round a horse, or a top grand prix rider of the sport; abuse is abuse. The ill effects rollkur has had on my horse are unbelievable. Times like yesterday I think is it even fair to let him live on? All this pain he has.. Is it right to try to recover him, or would he be better off free from this painful, challenging world... Then I think that that's only letting the terrible rollkur riders win. That's letting them destroy him. Udex has the drive to fight to be a normal horse again; you can see the fire in his eyes now. I know that he was saved so I could expose the truth about hyperflexion. As you know, he was a horse that was started with it from day one, all the way until it became too much. Not just for minutes at a time, but tens of minutes, possibly even hours. If there was damage to be done by rollkur, you can see it with Udex. He is living proof that rollkur does damage, and not any good.... at all.
 The other day my Dutch trainer came out to have a look. She being such an experienced horsewoman brought to light a lot of problems I was refusing to see the full extent of. Example; the excessive yawning. If you don't know (I didn't up until yesterday) horses usually only yawn once, twice, or maybe even three times if they are tired.. Anything over three times and you should be concerned. There could be a skeletal problem, stress, anxiety, dental problems.. The list goes on. In Udexs' case it is due to a probable skeletal problem and stress due to the pain. As I have said numerous times in my previous posts, Udex has a very bad back due to none other then the "wonderful" hyperflexion. His lumbar spine is locked in place, which causes him to trot in two pieces, much like a rocking horse. Beyond that, it also causes his vertebrae's and ligaments to rub wrong and cause even more pain. Some of his vertebraes' may even be fused together. You could say he has spavin and osteoarthritis in these places. When a horse is ridden so long behind the verticle, eventually those vertebraes do start to form a bone like growth; fusing them together. Also, his nuchal ligaments are very sore and may have damage as well.
 Tying Udex up. Thats another story. Whenever he is tied up he starts to think of what happens next. Horses remember the bad things that happen to them. Unfortunately for Udex he knows that when he was tied up, he was forced to work in a very, very uncomfortable position and worked extremely hard to show off his flashy movements. Every time he is tied, even if I only want to feed him or groom him he starts to pace and go wild. That has been one of the hardest things to work with him at. Having a 17.2 hand horse pacing side to side pulling and breaking lead ropes isn't exactly the easiest thing to work with. When he sees the saddle he starts to become even more tense, stressed, and fearful. He registers the saddle with his back pain. He knows saddle = a lot of pain. The bridle isn't any better. He knows the bit is a sharp, painful tool that will yank him behind the verticle, causing him pain as well.
  My trainer had the perfect description of Udexs' head throwing. When he is behind the bit he is thinking "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh..." then he throws it and while doing so thinks "HELP ME!" You can imagine how that goes..."Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh... HELP ME.! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, oh my gosh... HELP ME.!" I did get a chuckle in while watching her reenact that.
 I am not going to ride Udex until the osteopathic comes out and takes a look at him and works on making his pain go away. She will be coming within two weeks! I'm a little nervous about all this. I hope she will be able to find a way to make his pain go away!! I don't want him to life life with pain in every step. Oh well! Positive out looks! For now looks like I will just be working on ground work, respect, and cuddling with Udex!

"Rollkur opponents care for horses. Rollkur proponents care more for success."

Weight and Muscle!

  Udex has definitely been packing on the pounds! His ribs are almost covered by fat and muscle! His withers are starting to gain more and more definition!! His neck and shoulders don't look obviously thin! His hips are not point triangles anymore either! Now they are starting to round with fat and muscle! People who don't know him might say he is still pretty thin, but considering he is no longer a number two on the henneke body scoring chart... I will remain proud of a number four instead. I think this transition from four to five will be the hardest one yet. Oh well, I have the time and patience for it. I can see a difference and thats what matters! For now, bring on more beet pulp!!

His spine is beginning to unlock, and his ribs
are slowly fading!

  Obviously; Udex is starting to feel and look a lot better! Because of that, his overall performance has shot up the scales!! It's amazing how big of a change he has gone through!!! A few months ago he was very reluctant to do things, and very dull. Now he gives you anything you ask for (as long as you ask for it right!!) It's been just amazing to see the changes this horse has gone (and is still!) going through!
  I can't leave out how happy Udex has been!!! Everything about him is like a new horse!! He loves to play with his pony pals, loves to gallop around out in the paddocks, has a huge appetite for his food, and is gaining more confidence in himself! It's a lovely feeling to see him so full of life... considering how close he was to giving up!
  I can't express how much I hate rollkur. It has caused so much damage to such a kind, beautiful soul. Udex, and many other innocent horses don't deserve to go through all that pain. I was talking to someone the other day about flies and horses. She said "I don't care if there are a lot of flies on my horse. He just gets a little annoyed by it... That's normal." I couldn't get those words out of my head... I don't want my horse to be a little annoyed, stressed, hurt, or angry in any way, from any reason. I put fly spray and fly blanket on my horse to give him the kind, stress free days in the paddock he deserved. Then as I was thinking about how cold some people can be to their equines, I thought that's what rollkur users must think. "Ah, the horse will only be in a little discomfort for a few minutes." May I please tell you that that statement is totally wrong. Eventually all the damage starts to build up. The pile gets bigger, and bigger, and bigger... Until one day the weight of it is too much.. and it all crashes. It has been a very difficult journey to bring Udex where he is now.. and even now we still have a very long journey in front of us. I'm really lucky that I found Udex and have been able to help him. Sadly; for some others it's too late. Please STOP rollkur!!! All you are doing is causing pain to an innocent animal!

"Rollkur opponents care for horses. Rollkur proponents care more for success."

 

Wow, today was amazing.

  I am more then pleased with my lesson today!! Udex was an entire different horse!!!! I can't believe how great he was!! Everything was just so, so, so good today. I still can't stop smiling and feeling happy all over!!!
  Today was a very windy day. Most the horses I know get a little on edge when its this windy out! Of course, Udex was a brave boy and totally content in the wind. I actually think he really enjoys it actually! He loves to stand facing the wind and makes nice happy snorting sounds. It's really cute to see him so happy. Anyways, having him tied up outside and grooming him, he was lovely. He had a huge amount of energy which was a sign to me that we were going to have a very good ride. After grooming came tacking up! Like usual, as soon as the saddle and leg wraps were on, he become super fresh. He gets really, really, realllly excited. He enjoys working; especially riding! Putting the bridle on was a hassle. He just wanted to run around! He is a well over seventeen hand horse.. When he decides to put his head in the air while the bit is mid-way in his mouth and his rider is only 5''1...  you do face a bit of trouble. After the bridle was on, I mounted him and we rode to the arena!
  Like I had suspected, he was very hot and fresh today. His walk was really fast and energetic (which I didn't mind!!) and you could feel the pressure to start trot! Of course he did his little trot bolts here and there in the beginning, but after fifteen minutes in walk he cooled down a bit and got his head in the game. That's the thing with Udex. Once his head is in game mode, he doesn't leave it. He gets really focused on what he needs to do and doesn't let anything distract him. Occasionally he does give a whinny or two to his pals, but he continues on like nothing happened. That said, today once he was mentally with me, he was preforming beautifully! One movement, where you leg yield diagonally from the corner to X, ride one horse lengths straight, and then start to leg yield back to the next corner on the side. I only know the word for this in german, not in english. I don't even know if this has a name in english? Udex does these really good though. It's amazing how easy he makes it look, and does it. We have also been doing lots of shoulder and haunches in, renverse and traverse. He does those really, really good and easy. It's almost funny because with him you can ride them more easy then you can a circle.
  Siting trot!!! That has been coming along unbelievably well!! I am really, really pleased with my seat. It looks really good, especially considering that he was declared as an "impossible" horse to sit!! When I am sitting him in trot it's anything but easy, and is still really, really, really difficult to do. I have been practicing like crazy though and every time it's getting better!! I am happy with the seat I have right now, and I wont mind if it stays like this with him. I do hope (and know!) that in a little time, it will get more natural to sit him like this and I won't have to do as much as I am now for this pretty seat.
  Cantering was fantastic!! He does his walk to canter transitions wonderfully. No steps of walk or trot between, just pure canter. It's fantastic with him!!! He does it so gracefully and with so much ease. It's really fantastic to sit his canter too. Everyone else that rides him disagrees, but with me I find it rather refreshing. When you have to sit such a difficult trot all the time, switching to something as steady as canter is just a better feeling.
  On top of our great day, Udex is also gaining a lot of weight!! His ribs are barely visible!! I think that by december he will look the exact way he should! Aaaah! I'm too happy!!!! To see his withers getting definition, his hips getting rounder, and his ribs slowly fading under fat and muscle... Wow! It is a feeling like no other! Looking at him today I said to my friends "see that muscle right there? Yup! Six months ago; it didn't even exist." I pointed out a million newfound muscles as I said that. He has seriously come so far. I couldn't be more pleased!!! Ahh! I am stoked!! There are so many moments I look at him and have to convince myself that yes, this is the scrawny, thin, malnourished, depressed horse I took him six months ago!! This is one amazing journey I am so thankful to be taking. All the time while making Udex feel better, and me a better rider... I get to share the word about how rollkur does more harm then good!! This has been amazing! Killing three birds with one stone! W-O-W! Talk about cool!?

Everything I do I have to do 50% more of.

 As always, I had my Friday lesson with Udex. It was alright. I feel like we are kind of stuck right now. It frustrates me a little bit because everything that I do with him, I have to do 50% more then any one else must do with their horse. Take sitting trot for example. I have to use every muscle, plus so much more. So while I'm doing a leg yield at trot not only I'm doing a leg yield and using my leg/thigh muscles... I'm also using so much more muscles to stay in the saddle. [Thank you rollkur for making my horse a "rocking horse" aka impossible to sit without huge effort.] Also when I'm trotting it takes amazing effort to keep the reins steady, since he does tend to throw his head, and he is a rocking horse. So for a leg yield in trot add that to the list too. Fighting to keep the reins steady. Then you also have the head throwing, the getting him to not curl behind the bit, and other things. Honestly I am fine that I have to do all that extra work. In the long run it's making me a better rider and giving me the experience and skills most riders will never get the chance to find and develop. Six months ago when I first got Udex I thought I would never be able to sit him in rising trot. He had too much movement in his back, plus a hard to sit stride. No one else could sit him. I watched so many great rider friends of mine get off and say "yeahh.. this has to be the most terrible horse to sit I have ever sat on." I would sigh and loose hope. Well six months later I can do rising trot with steady hands and staying balanced and have him on the bit, not behind. I can also do this in sitting trot and canter and walk. My point is, even though at the time things see impossible with Udex... We get over it.
  Something I have found interesting is my trainers expectations of us. Six months ago she would praise me for doing three steps of sitting trot without falling off. Now she scolds me when I do less then a round of sitting trot without steady hands. She demands more. She wants my aids even more invisible then they already are. I find it fascinating though!! It has only been six months and we are schooling L and M movements. Pretty soon we will start the double bridle!!
  Right now I am feeling like some things with Udex are impossible. I feel like we are stuck. I know that this too we will overcome stronger then ever. It just gets tricky sometimes with Udex. Stressful is a good word for it. I mean sometimes I would just like to have a nice problem free horse that I didn't have to work so much with... but then I remember how Udex was born a nice problem free horse.. Rollkur made him into the horse he is today. Sometimes I just want to scream and cry because I'm sooo angry some idiot had to ruin such a wonderful heart with hyperflexion. Ah.! Then I think about how doing that would do no good at all. Instead I just sigh, give Udex a hug and pat, and think that this all had to happen for a reason. Udex is my horse now... which means I am getting the word out that rollkur is not a good thing. I'm going to open peoples eyes about the truth to this horrid "training" tool. The only thing rollkur does is destroy. Please remember that. I have to do Udex, and all the other horses trained with rollkur justice. This needs to be stopped. I can't stand to see another horse sustain the same problems that Udex has. It isn't fair for the horses. Please share Udexs' story and get the word out that rollkur is harmful!!!

Gel Shoes and Other Stuff

  I have not wrote in a little while! Man! I have found I just don't have the drive to write at the moment. So much has happened though! Isn't that how it always goes when you skip writing for a few days?
   The farrier came for Udex and put on really neat gel shoes! He only has shoes in his front feet since it isn't necessary to put them on the back. About two-ish months ago we had a different farrier trim Udex's hooves. Biggest mistake ever. He ended up cutting waaay to much out of the soles of his already flat hooves, resulting in a few abscesses and lameness for around a month. There was quiet a few little abscesses that popped on their own within a few days durning that time. However, there was this one really nasty abscess that took about four days to pop. It was in the heel of his hoof! Eventually, -after epson salt soaks-, it popped!! He was good to ride right then and there! He was turned out with his friends and the next day we started work like normal.
  When the farrier came again to re-shod him, he showed us something interesting! In Udex's abscess hoof he had grown two soles!! Instead of just one sole there was now two, messy and all over the place. It was interesting to see, and watch him get rid of! Lots of cutting and snipping! His hoof was over exposed, and probably would have bruised or abscessed if left without any special attention. The solution? Fill the hooves with gel!! I was really excited to see that process happen! "Too cool" was the only thing that went through my mind! Anyways, he put the shoes on Udex with a chicken wire mesh as well. After his shoes were on he brought his little "gel gun" and squirted lots of the liquid into the hoof until it touched the brim of the shoe. Then he wrapped the hoof and let it set for about fifteen minutes. He did this to both front hooves.
   After the wrapping came off, he had a nice, soft, squishy gel in the hooves!!!! If I was a horse, I would love to be walking on that! Mr. Rau is an incredible farrier!! He has a natural talent for the job, and is a horse person as well. Udex stood extremely calm for almost an hour.

  Besides new shoes, lessons have been going well. We are working a lot more in trot now, which is both exciting and challenging at the same time. Udex is a "rocking horse," and really skinny at that. That makes him super challenging to sit! The way he moves is rather choppy. He is a horse that you really can not sit without having the right muscles, practice, patience and drive. All my friends almost flop right off him in sitting trot, canter, and rising trot even. His walk is even enough to make you cringe. You can only feel it when your riding though. When watching him move he actually looks surprisingly smooth!
  I have been getting sitting trot down with him. My seat isn't anywhere near as good as it is with other horses, but it's enough to call it a working process. The other day we were leg yeilding in trot and it wasn't working as well as I'd like it to have. As my trainer was yelling at me I caught myself thinking "ughh. It's not my fault that this horse is impossible to sit!!!!" Then almost a second later I felt really terrible when I thought that it wasn't Udex's fault either. It wasn't his fault that someone put him through years and years of rollkur pain, causing him all this damage. He was born a perfect, healthy, talented foal. Someone did the damage to him, he had no say in what went on.
  I gave Udex and pat and told him he was a good boy. Not everyday can we ride and get the expected results. It takes time to get it right. I have a lesson today, hopefully it goes well!! Even if it doesn't go too smoothly, I'm still going to be proud... Because six months ago, my horse was not rideable, not sitable, a failure, a "cow" and a lot of other things according to a lot of people. Today he is one amazing dressage horse, happy as can be, super talented, and lots of other amazing things. (-: I really, really, really love and appreciate my horsey. He's really just so amazing, I don't know where I would be without him!

I never thought we would get this far this fast.

   Yesterday while riding I couldn't help but feel so proud!! Six months ago Udex was an un-sittable, suicidal, depressed, emaciated horse who would always tuck himself behind the bit due to riding with hyperflexion so many years. We are now doing shoulder in's and haunches in's and leg yields, and lot's of sitting trot!!! He is doing so, so, so amazing. I never ever ever in a million years would have thought that in just six months he would be coming along so far!!! I'm just soo impressed!! I mean of course, we still have our bad days. Our good days are just getting better and better. My trainer is raising her standards for us, pushing Udex and I to work even harder!! I love it!!
  So yesterday our lesson was beyond great!! Udex was a bit tired, but other then that; truly amazing!! Days I don't bring the camera something amazing always happens.. Go figure!!! He gave me some absolute perfect leg yields! I couldn't have asked for better. We also worked on our shoulder in's, which were also going well!!! For the first real day of schooling them and perfecting them, five to nine steps of a good shoulder in at walk was pretty rewarding. We also tried a bit of haunches in, which is actually quite difficult to do with Udex. When I give the absolute correct aids, then he goes right, but if it's anything below perfect he just won't budge. That's quite difficult due to my muscles not being at the strength that he is expecting. I'm not worried though. Doing all the leg yields and shoulder in's and now haunches in's I have been doing, I will have those muscles in no time!!!
   I couldn't stop smiling while I was riding him. Just thinking that six months ago how bad he was and how today we are riding second level moves!! Ah!! It's so amazing!!! This has to be the most rewarding feel that is possible. If you haven't ever took in a rescue horse... you're missing out... BIG time!!! The farrier is coming to put new shoes on Udex soon, so I'm off to the stable!! Hopefully Udex stands quiet, but since he is the horse he is, he probably won't, and will cause a hassle!!! Oh well, fingers crossed!!

Wounds && a Lesson

after I cleaned it with hydrogen peroxide

   Yuck! Last week Udex was kicked on his front left leg pretty bad. He had a little gash in it. Taking the barn owner, my mom, and my trainers advice I cleaned it, put blue spray on it, and let it be. For about five days that was working. Yesterday? It was open and raw and flies were everywhere. When I put cream on it I got about four flies in the cream, that's how many flies there were. Instantly I became paranoid about infection!!! Ahhh!!!! Anyways, today I wrapped it and put a lot of good stuff on it. Hopefully tomorrow it's closed up again and fly free!!!

  Our lesson was pretty good!! Udex was a little tired; he spent four nights in the paddock Other then being tired, he was pretty good! It was a really, really, really warm day today. I'm surprised neither of us died (lots of laughs.) It's never easy to work in the heat, as almost anyone should know. So putting together the fact he was super tired and it was super warm out.. I'm pleased with the outcome of today. We didn't have any more, or less, head throwing then usual. Leg yielding him from F to X wasn't working out too well. Actually it wasn't working at all. I need stronger muscles on that side, and he does too!!! Our other hand is both of our dominant hand! It's a little difficult making our weak hands stronger, but I'm sure we will do it. He does all his moves so lovely, sometimes it's a little frustrating knowing that the reason he isn't doing it is because of me!!! I was watching a T.V. show yesterday and had to giggle when the dressage rider was half passing her horse, and the trainer was yelling at her. The rider said "It's this footing in the arena. It's terrible!!" The trainer looked at her blankly and said "it isn't the footing... and it isn't the horse!" It was really funny to hear this (at least to me!) I guess it could be because my trainer says the same thing when I try to make excuses!! Well sorry for the short entry, I am just not in the mood to write.

Fun!

  This morning Udex and I had a nice little ride. We didn't really focus on anything but fun! Not worrying about the usual, just simply having fun! It was really refreshing for both of us! We did a lot of stuff we usually don't do today. We cantered with no hands. Even though I have done that so many times with him, every time I let go of the reins I can't help but believe that I'm flying. Udex's big, energetic stride can really give you the illusion that your above the world, zooming into the unknown. -Anyways.- Our canter was pretty fun!! After he was finished cooling we had a lot of fun! I rode him in a walk a bit "side saddle!" At first he thought (since my legs were both to one side) that he pirrouette! For about a minute he was pivoting on his back legs, confused on what to do. Eventually he realized that I mean to simply go forward. Aha. Then he walked on like the good boy he is. After a few minutes side saddle I layed down on his back. He put his ears back a bit, but compared to what he normally does I was happy! He got a good boy pat for being so good while I did that!! He is trusting me enough to do things that six months ago he would have been a demon at. I also stood on his back!! I did about two steps of walk before I sat down. Let me tell you, standing on an over seventeen hand horses back... you feel really tall! It's crazy!!! So I did that a few times as well. We did a lot of other fun and crazy stuff today. He was a really good boy for me. I'm really proud with the rate he is recovering from his rollkur damage!!! I couldn't have asked for better!!!

Sometimes bad days turn good... really good.

  Days like this I just am not in the mood to ride. Rainy, windy, cold, blue; gloomy. Everything about today just set the mood for a bad day. Since it was raining, I had my horse cooped up in his stall all day. Just thinking about how I was going to have to wrestle with my huge, energetic, fresh warmblood gave me a headache. I just wanted to skip today and go right into tomorrow... I came to the barn feeling very sour. Udex was pacing around in his stall and whinnying every two minutes. I rolled my eyes and took a while setting up my tack box and getting my saddle and bridle out. "Oh great.. He's so energetic and nervous today! It's going to be a hard struggle to pick his hooves, yet alone put the bit in his mouth when the only thing he wants to do is run!"
  I was right. It was a struggle to get him to stand still long enough for me to pick his hooves. After getting that task over with I very unhappily took him to the arena to free run a bit of the crazies out. After a few minutes of running he walked over to me, chomping on nothing, (sign of submission) and nuzzled me. He was still full of energy, but he let me tack him up a lot easier then he would have without letting that negative energy out.
  I did notice he had a fantastic trot today. In the beginning he had a very nice long and low neck! I trotted him with no hands for a bit... Good for my balance, and good for him to really stretch down low. Anyways, after he was warmed up to some extent, my trainer arrived and we began our lesson. [At this point I was still a bit gloomy. The wind rattling the roof, Udex whinnying out to his friends every few seconds.] We started out the lesson with einfache schlange linien [simple snake lines] and lots and lots and lots of circles. Udex was going great with little head throwing and very eager to listen to my leg. We did lots of circles on a loose rein! He was being such a good boy. My bad mood was slowly getting lighter and lighter. When it came time to canter I was in a pretty happy mood considering how outstanding my horse was preforming!!! The canter was amazing. No head throwing, total response to my leg, and a nice steady pace!!!!

Udex sometimes curls behind the bit.
Thankfully now he doesn't tuck his head in
as far as he once did.

   Sadly, some days Udex still curls up behind the bit out of his past trauma from rollkur. It breaks my trainer and I's heart to see that even when I give him a very loose rein, he still is tucked in behind the bit. He is so mentally afraid. It is very sad to see him curled behind it. Usually towards the end of our lesson I give him a very long rein with hardly any connection and just ride him with my body and legs. We try to get him to come up on the bit, not behind it. Usually the long rein makes him feel secure enough to go on the bit. It's very difficult to help his behind the bit problem, but it's getting better. Today in our lesson, towards the end he started to go ON the vertical, instead of behind it. To see Udex not behind the bit is enough to make me tear up. Two years ago this was a high trained dressage horse, riding everyday in hyperflexion. Today, he is my best friend riding on the bit.
   Over all, today I was expecting a bad day. To my surprise it turned out to be one of our best rides yet!!! I am so, so, so pleased with Udex's recovery! Although some days It isn't easy and I want to give up, I don't. I keep on working with him. Sometimes I see an instant difference, sometimes it takes a little longer. This has been one very hard and challenging journey, both mentally and physically.. but I know what I'm doing for my horse is the right thing to do. I hate knowing he was trained with rollkur his entire life... At the same time I am thankful for it. I know that he was put in my path (and I in his!) so I can do him justice and share his story. If at least one person hears his story and changes their mind about rollkur... then I feel that I have done my job. Rollkur needs to end. It doesn't do anyone any good. Please, put an end to rollkur.