Bruises and blood.

  Putting the bridle on a horse isn't usually hard... Key word: Usually. As always, the term usually doesn't ever apply to my crazy horse. It took about an hour just to bridle him. An entire hour. Oh man. Some days my horse drives me bonkers!! I had him in his stall so he couldn't run away and he was just too mentally excited. Kicking, running around in circles in his stall, nipping. You name it. Since we have changed barns he hasn't been nervous alone at all, so I know that wasn't the case. Anyway Udex was crazy. Every time I would get the bit in his mouth, he would raise his head up as high as it could go, (easily over six something feet.) Considering the fact I am only 5'1... Yeah, didn't really work too well. During our little "discussion" about bridling, Udex gave me over ten huge bruises, a bloody lip, and stepped on my feet over four times. Not too surprising considering the mood he was in. Obviously after about fourty five minutes of struggling I realized no good was going to come from fighting in his stall. I let him run in the arena a few minutes before I tried again. He was still extremely difficult to bridle but I managed to do it.
  Then I was able to ride. (-: He was hot to the touch while riding. I love it! He has always been a hot horse, but here at our new barn... He's not only physically hot he is also mentally hot as well. I guess thats what the difference is! I'm really happy I have this new hot-in-every-way kind of horse!! He's been a real joy to work with.. Even if he has an off day like today!

"Rollkur opponents care for horses. Rollkur proponents care more for success."

New home!? So much better then I could have imagined.

  Well it's official... Udex is nine hundred and twenty percent happier at our new barn. Everything about this place is just perfect. Everything. I mean the people, the arena dirt, the horses, the trainers, the owners, the stalls, the grass... every little thing. Perfect. All of it. Udex is showing he is a lot happier here too. He is an even hotter horse then he already was!!! Don't get me wrong.. Thats an excellent thing!! Since he has more power and is feeling a lot more mentally fresh, his movements have been spectacular..! He has shown the world his true extension. His working and collected trot have so much spring to it. His canter is bigger, better, and more collected. His eyes are perky with happiness. Oh my. I'm starting to think he was depressed at our old stable.. Actually I know he was depressed there. Not severely, but enough that he was never truly happy. Seeing him actually happy at our new place is more then a dream come true to me. 

  Udex has also made friends!! He had been touching noses with them through the fences, and today we decided to let him into the warmblood paddock! Now I feel like we are officially part of this barn. Anyways, the only other chestnut in the herd, Wins A Lot, took an immediate liking to Udex. Touching noses, little ears forward, running side by side. Seems like Udex also likes pretty Wins A Lot!! These two will be good friends, you can already see it!! Also there is a sweet little filly called "Sevin PJ" and she seems to be head over heels for Udex. Crow hopping behind him, nuzzling up to him, and following him around everywhere!! Sadly, Udex doesn't seem to have the same feelings for her!! Anywho, he tolerates her very nicely and just puts his ears back and accepts the fact that she he has another shadow. Knowing my horse, eventually he will be best friends with Sevin. I'm kind of excited to see who he's going to like and who he isn't going to like. What rank will he be in his new herd?? Ah so many exciting questions that will be answered in the near future!!!!

"Rollkur opponents care for horses. Rollkur proponents care more for success."

We are now at our new barn!

   We did it! We are officially at our new barn! We were going to wait until february but we my old trainer totally turned against us. We decided that being harassed by my trainer, who obviously doesn't care about my horse, it would be best to leave faster since we absolutely had nothing to benefit at all from at the barn. What my trainer said to us was terrible. She accused us of lying to her, putting myself before my horse, and the kicker... Saying that Udex has huge Intermediare/Grand Prix potential, but I'm not the rider to get him there.. I won't ever get past fourth level. That was the final straw. It really hurts to know that this entire time that was the real her behind her smile. Oh well. There's a better trainer out our new barn anyways.
  This morning I went to go groom Udex at our old barn for the last time. The way he acted was as if he knew that today was his last day at that barn. Very calm, and being so cuddly with all the others. After I groomed Udex I turned him back out while we drove to our new barn to get the trailer!!! We got to the new barn and drove with Klaus (the owners son, who also works at the barn.) with the trailer to pick Udex up!!! I was so excited the entire way!! This day was beautiful! It was warm, sunny, and everything said everything was going to work out great. As soon as we got to the stable we loaded sweet little Udex into the trailer!! He went in very happily and quiet. Like I said, Udex knew it was time to go. Before we knew it, we were at the barn and ready to unload!! Udex stepped out of the trailer with all of the pride in the world!!! Everywhere he could look were beautiful horses grazing. His eyes were lit with a new type of happiness! Right then and there I knew that this was the right choice bringing him here.
  I walked Udex around his new home for around 30 minutes. He was so happy and fresh, both mentally and physically! After getting a bit more familiar with the ranch grounds it was time for him to go to his new paddock! There are a bunch of paddocks at the ranch with lots of horses in them all, mostly categorized by size. The smaller horses (the quarter horses, paints, carriage horses, and smaller warmbloods) are in one paddock, and the taller horses (the hot warmbloods) are in another one as well. Right now Udex is in the middle of these on his own. He needs to get used to the others, and it's safer to have him alone! Udex looooves being alone though! He can see the others, so he knows he isn't the only horse on the planet, but he has his alone room which is very important. He is in the center of his huge mile long paddock happily grazing right now as I type!
  I know this was the right choice!!!! Udex is so happy... I'm so happy.. Everyone is so happy! I'm proud of having the courage to do what's right for my horse and I!! I have a good feeling about this!

Rollkur opponents care for horses. Rollkur proponents care more for success."

 

If right is leaving, I'd rather be wrong...

   Yesterday I was faced with one of the hardest challenges in my life... Deciding wether or not to move my horse to another barn with another trainer. Something like this should be easy.. And in any other situation; it would be. For me though this more difficult then any other thing imaginable! Seven months ago I brought a skinny, overly-hairy, tall, scrawny horse to the Klippenstein. Together, everyone at that stable helped Udex and I in ways that meant so much. When my saddle wasn't fitting right with Udex, the owner of the stable [Johann] let me use his best saddle for as long as I needed to. When people would say really mean things to me about Udex, everyone at that stable was there to comfort us! When Udex was skinny, Lena (a very sweet girl who boards her lovely rescue horse at the barn) would come with bags of treats and bread for Udex! She always says the most kind, comforting things. Everyone helped to put weight and muscle on Udex. Everyone played a part, both big and small. Everyone was there this entire journey. Through it all we became so close; like a family. Thats what we all were. A big family that cared a lot about each other. Then of course there is my trainer, Ellen. She has been there every. single. step. of. the. way. When I needed a special saddle pad for Udexs weak back, Ellen went above and beyond and had one for me the next lesson. The pace she is taking us was right. She never, ever rushed us. She respected what Udex was and wasn't ready for. I can't even write how the bond was with everyone. Just amazing.
  Then yesterday I had a strong feeling I should check out a nearby barn. I had gone there maybe five months or so ago to just look. I never had any intentions of bringing Udex there. Anyways, while at that stable yesterday something was different. I guess I was looking at it with open eyes this time and asking myself "would he be happy here?" Looking at the miles of huge pastures of wonderful green grass, the rows and rows and rows of hay and straw bales, the other hot, fresh horses, the big comfy stalls, the kind warm people... Everything. It was just right for my horse! Then I met a woman who was there training a horse. This woman is a Grand Prix dressage rider. I was in awe just speaking with her. She knew so much! She was against hyperflexion! She said she would train me! She was the woman who found Olympic horse, Floriano for US of A Olympic rider Steffan Peters! I watched her ride and was in even more awe!! Her seat was magnificent! She was doing flying changes, haunches in, shoulder in, and sooo much more like it was too easy. Just by watching her I learned so much! I knew deep down that this was the place where my horse and I needed to be... Everything about it was right for us.
  I thought about it long and hard. Should I leave my amazing barn family that has been there through it all...? Or should I say goodbye and move on to a place where my horse and I could benefit more then ever...?
  My final choice was to say goodbye. As I told the barn owner I couldn't hold back my tears. Watching him tear up was even harder. I had a lesson yesterday, and was going to break the news to my trainer afterwards. Hearing her walk into the arena and say "ohh Udex mein schatz!" had me tearing up instantly. Telling her the news was hard too, and once again I couldn't fight the tears. She is an amazing woman, and agreed that it's time for us to move on. Our new trainer (who she has heard of) will be really great for us. Udex needs this. He has the potential to take those steps back up to be an S**** horse. No one wants to hold him back. It's time to fly now.
  This hasn't been an easy choice for me. Every time I think about it I feel sick and try very hard to resist tears. Deep down though I know that this is the right choice. It's certainly not easy.. but its right. He needs this.. I need this... We need this. I have forever friends at the Klippenstein that I want to keep forever. I never want to fall out of contact with any of them. Ellen has said that she will come visit us often just for chats and catching up. I'm thinking about trailering Udex out to the Klippenstein every now and then to say hello to everyone and ride in familiar territory.
   I guess as of right now, It's time to say the first of our goodbyes. I'm dreading saying our goodbyes to all the others. They have been so good, too good... Well this is the right choice; that I know. I'm just going to cherish my last few days here at this stable, and make these good memories last. <3

"Rollkur opponents care for horses. Rollkur proponents care more for success."

Weight and Muscle!

  Udex has definitely been packing on the pounds! His ribs are almost covered by fat and muscle! His withers are starting to gain more and more definition!! His neck and shoulders don't look obviously thin! His hips are not point triangles anymore either! Now they are starting to round with fat and muscle! People who don't know him might say he is still pretty thin, but considering he is no longer a number two on the henneke body scoring chart... I will remain proud of a number four instead. I think this transition from four to five will be the hardest one yet. Oh well, I have the time and patience for it. I can see a difference and thats what matters! For now, bring on more beet pulp!!

His spine is beginning to unlock, and his ribs
are slowly fading!

  Obviously; Udex is starting to feel and look a lot better! Because of that, his overall performance has shot up the scales!! It's amazing how big of a change he has gone through!!! A few months ago he was very reluctant to do things, and very dull. Now he gives you anything you ask for (as long as you ask for it right!!) It's been just amazing to see the changes this horse has gone (and is still!) going through!
  I can't leave out how happy Udex has been!!! Everything about him is like a new horse!! He loves to play with his pony pals, loves to gallop around out in the paddocks, has a huge appetite for his food, and is gaining more confidence in himself! It's a lovely feeling to see him so full of life... considering how close he was to giving up!
  I can't express how much I hate rollkur. It has caused so much damage to such a kind, beautiful soul. Udex, and many other innocent horses don't deserve to go through all that pain. I was talking to someone the other day about flies and horses. She said "I don't care if there are a lot of flies on my horse. He just gets a little annoyed by it... That's normal." I couldn't get those words out of my head... I don't want my horse to be a little annoyed, stressed, hurt, or angry in any way, from any reason. I put fly spray and fly blanket on my horse to give him the kind, stress free days in the paddock he deserved. Then as I was thinking about how cold some people can be to their equines, I thought that's what rollkur users must think. "Ah, the horse will only be in a little discomfort for a few minutes." May I please tell you that that statement is totally wrong. Eventually all the damage starts to build up. The pile gets bigger, and bigger, and bigger... Until one day the weight of it is too much.. and it all crashes. It has been a very difficult journey to bring Udex where he is now.. and even now we still have a very long journey in front of us. I'm really lucky that I found Udex and have been able to help him. Sadly; for some others it's too late. Please STOP rollkur!!! All you are doing is causing pain to an innocent animal!

"Rollkur opponents care for horses. Rollkur proponents care more for success."

 

Wow, today was amazing.

  I am more then pleased with my lesson today!! Udex was an entire different horse!!!! I can't believe how great he was!! Everything was just so, so, so good today. I still can't stop smiling and feeling happy all over!!!
  Today was a very windy day. Most the horses I know get a little on edge when its this windy out! Of course, Udex was a brave boy and totally content in the wind. I actually think he really enjoys it actually! He loves to stand facing the wind and makes nice happy snorting sounds. It's really cute to see him so happy. Anyways, having him tied up outside and grooming him, he was lovely. He had a huge amount of energy which was a sign to me that we were going to have a very good ride. After grooming came tacking up! Like usual, as soon as the saddle and leg wraps were on, he become super fresh. He gets really, really, realllly excited. He enjoys working; especially riding! Putting the bridle on was a hassle. He just wanted to run around! He is a well over seventeen hand horse.. When he decides to put his head in the air while the bit is mid-way in his mouth and his rider is only 5''1...  you do face a bit of trouble. After the bridle was on, I mounted him and we rode to the arena!
  Like I had suspected, he was very hot and fresh today. His walk was really fast and energetic (which I didn't mind!!) and you could feel the pressure to start trot! Of course he did his little trot bolts here and there in the beginning, but after fifteen minutes in walk he cooled down a bit and got his head in the game. That's the thing with Udex. Once his head is in game mode, he doesn't leave it. He gets really focused on what he needs to do and doesn't let anything distract him. Occasionally he does give a whinny or two to his pals, but he continues on like nothing happened. That said, today once he was mentally with me, he was preforming beautifully! One movement, where you leg yield diagonally from the corner to X, ride one horse lengths straight, and then start to leg yield back to the next corner on the side. I only know the word for this in german, not in english. I don't even know if this has a name in english? Udex does these really good though. It's amazing how easy he makes it look, and does it. We have also been doing lots of shoulder and haunches in, renverse and traverse. He does those really, really good and easy. It's almost funny because with him you can ride them more easy then you can a circle.
  Siting trot!!! That has been coming along unbelievably well!! I am really, really pleased with my seat. It looks really good, especially considering that he was declared as an "impossible" horse to sit!! When I am sitting him in trot it's anything but easy, and is still really, really, really difficult to do. I have been practicing like crazy though and every time it's getting better!! I am happy with the seat I have right now, and I wont mind if it stays like this with him. I do hope (and know!) that in a little time, it will get more natural to sit him like this and I won't have to do as much as I am now for this pretty seat.
  Cantering was fantastic!! He does his walk to canter transitions wonderfully. No steps of walk or trot between, just pure canter. It's fantastic with him!!! He does it so gracefully and with so much ease. It's really fantastic to sit his canter too. Everyone else that rides him disagrees, but with me I find it rather refreshing. When you have to sit such a difficult trot all the time, switching to something as steady as canter is just a better feeling.
  On top of our great day, Udex is also gaining a lot of weight!! His ribs are barely visible!! I think that by december he will look the exact way he should! Aaaah! I'm too happy!!!! To see his withers getting definition, his hips getting rounder, and his ribs slowly fading under fat and muscle... Wow! It is a feeling like no other! Looking at him today I said to my friends "see that muscle right there? Yup! Six months ago; it didn't even exist." I pointed out a million newfound muscles as I said that. He has seriously come so far. I couldn't be more pleased!!! Ahh! I am stoked!! There are so many moments I look at him and have to convince myself that yes, this is the scrawny, thin, malnourished, depressed horse I took him six months ago!! This is one amazing journey I am so thankful to be taking. All the time while making Udex feel better, and me a better rider... I get to share the word about how rollkur does more harm then good!! This has been amazing! Killing three birds with one stone! W-O-W! Talk about cool!?

Everything I do I have to do 50% more of.

 As always, I had my Friday lesson with Udex. It was alright. I feel like we are kind of stuck right now. It frustrates me a little bit because everything that I do with him, I have to do 50% more then any one else must do with their horse. Take sitting trot for example. I have to use every muscle, plus so much more. So while I'm doing a leg yield at trot not only I'm doing a leg yield and using my leg/thigh muscles... I'm also using so much more muscles to stay in the saddle. [Thank you rollkur for making my horse a "rocking horse" aka impossible to sit without huge effort.] Also when I'm trotting it takes amazing effort to keep the reins steady, since he does tend to throw his head, and he is a rocking horse. So for a leg yield in trot add that to the list too. Fighting to keep the reins steady. Then you also have the head throwing, the getting him to not curl behind the bit, and other things. Honestly I am fine that I have to do all that extra work. In the long run it's making me a better rider and giving me the experience and skills most riders will never get the chance to find and develop. Six months ago when I first got Udex I thought I would never be able to sit him in rising trot. He had too much movement in his back, plus a hard to sit stride. No one else could sit him. I watched so many great rider friends of mine get off and say "yeahh.. this has to be the most terrible horse to sit I have ever sat on." I would sigh and loose hope. Well six months later I can do rising trot with steady hands and staying balanced and have him on the bit, not behind. I can also do this in sitting trot and canter and walk. My point is, even though at the time things see impossible with Udex... We get over it.
  Something I have found interesting is my trainers expectations of us. Six months ago she would praise me for doing three steps of sitting trot without falling off. Now she scolds me when I do less then a round of sitting trot without steady hands. She demands more. She wants my aids even more invisible then they already are. I find it fascinating though!! It has only been six months and we are schooling L and M movements. Pretty soon we will start the double bridle!!
  Right now I am feeling like some things with Udex are impossible. I feel like we are stuck. I know that this too we will overcome stronger then ever. It just gets tricky sometimes with Udex. Stressful is a good word for it. I mean sometimes I would just like to have a nice problem free horse that I didn't have to work so much with... but then I remember how Udex was born a nice problem free horse.. Rollkur made him into the horse he is today. Sometimes I just want to scream and cry because I'm sooo angry some idiot had to ruin such a wonderful heart with hyperflexion. Ah.! Then I think about how doing that would do no good at all. Instead I just sigh, give Udex a hug and pat, and think that this all had to happen for a reason. Udex is my horse now... which means I am getting the word out that rollkur is not a good thing. I'm going to open peoples eyes about the truth to this horrid "training" tool. The only thing rollkur does is destroy. Please remember that. I have to do Udex, and all the other horses trained with rollkur justice. This needs to be stopped. I can't stand to see another horse sustain the same problems that Udex has. It isn't fair for the horses. Please share Udexs' story and get the word out that rollkur is harmful!!!