Everything I do I have to do 50% more of.

 As always, I had my Friday lesson with Udex. It was alright. I feel like we are kind of stuck right now. It frustrates me a little bit because everything that I do with him, I have to do 50% more then any one else must do with their horse. Take sitting trot for example. I have to use every muscle, plus so much more. So while I'm doing a leg yield at trot not only I'm doing a leg yield and using my leg/thigh muscles... I'm also using so much more muscles to stay in the saddle. [Thank you rollkur for making my horse a "rocking horse" aka impossible to sit without huge effort.] Also when I'm trotting it takes amazing effort to keep the reins steady, since he does tend to throw his head, and he is a rocking horse. So for a leg yield in trot add that to the list too. Fighting to keep the reins steady. Then you also have the head throwing, the getting him to not curl behind the bit, and other things. Honestly I am fine that I have to do all that extra work. In the long run it's making me a better rider and giving me the experience and skills most riders will never get the chance to find and develop. Six months ago when I first got Udex I thought I would never be able to sit him in rising trot. He had too much movement in his back, plus a hard to sit stride. No one else could sit him. I watched so many great rider friends of mine get off and say "yeahh.. this has to be the most terrible horse to sit I have ever sat on." I would sigh and loose hope. Well six months later I can do rising trot with steady hands and staying balanced and have him on the bit, not behind. I can also do this in sitting trot and canter and walk. My point is, even though at the time things see impossible with Udex... We get over it.
  Something I have found interesting is my trainers expectations of us. Six months ago she would praise me for doing three steps of sitting trot without falling off. Now she scolds me when I do less then a round of sitting trot without steady hands. She demands more. She wants my aids even more invisible then they already are. I find it fascinating though!! It has only been six months and we are schooling L and M movements. Pretty soon we will start the double bridle!!
  Right now I am feeling like some things with Udex are impossible. I feel like we are stuck. I know that this too we will overcome stronger then ever. It just gets tricky sometimes with Udex. Stressful is a good word for it. I mean sometimes I would just like to have a nice problem free horse that I didn't have to work so much with... but then I remember how Udex was born a nice problem free horse.. Rollkur made him into the horse he is today. Sometimes I just want to scream and cry because I'm sooo angry some idiot had to ruin such a wonderful heart with hyperflexion. Ah.! Then I think about how doing that would do no good at all. Instead I just sigh, give Udex a hug and pat, and think that this all had to happen for a reason. Udex is my horse now... which means I am getting the word out that rollkur is not a good thing. I'm going to open peoples eyes about the truth to this horrid "training" tool. The only thing rollkur does is destroy. Please remember that. I have to do Udex, and all the other horses trained with rollkur justice. This needs to be stopped. I can't stand to see another horse sustain the same problems that Udex has. It isn't fair for the horses. Please share Udexs' story and get the word out that rollkur is harmful!!!