Not always friends.

  Honestly I would be lying if I said that me and Udex had a perfectly happy relationship all the time.. Because we don't. Some days it goes so great I can hop on him tackless and ride.. and others? Well Udex and I don't seem to be friends on those days. I usually choose to right only about the good things and times I have with him, but as with all horses with bad past experiences, there are just as much bad moments as good. In about a two month time span we go through a few days, to even two weeks where we just don't get along.. at all. Of course we both still love each other, but our connection with each other just isn't as strong as it should be.
  It's been about a week where Udex and I haven't been best friends now. Yesterday he crossed the line, although I'm not innocent either. I should start from the beginning before I get too jumbled up in words!
 Yesterday I rode Udex. He was okay, but not as okay as I would have liked him to be. Lately he has been fighting against the bit big time, running like a lama under saddle, and refusing canter. I think I'm going to pick the crop, if that fails then spurs, back up and try them again before I officially decide he is being a bit stubborn. Usually when you ride with a crop he gets his head in with you and knows that your not playing around and what you are asking for is real. Okay- to get back on track here! After our ride I put Udex's sweat blanket on, cooled him off for a bit then took him back outside to groom him and put his winter rug on. He was okay during grooming, not too much pacing. When I put blankets on Udex, or anything by has back end, he gets a little sensitive by the skin by his back legs. The part by the hip and back legs? The name for it escapes me at the moment. Usually he picks his leg up like he is going to kick be he never does it. Some days he may kick out an eency bit but he is so kind hearted he never actually hits anyone. Yesterday he proved me wrong. I was going to strap the parts on his blanket by his legs and he picked his leg up a bit. I took a little step back and was going to give him a second to put it down. Like predicted, he did. So I went back over to strap it again. He was quiet one second and the next... BOOM! Ouchhh!!! He got me right in the leg above the knee. I have been kicked numerous times by horses.. Just never from such a big, tall, powerful one.
 I don't know what hurt worse.. The pain from the kick, or the pain in my heart from feeling so lost with my horse at this time. Right now I just feel so defeated against him. It feels as if he doesn't love me and I do so much hard work and make so many sacrifices for him, and he in return offers nothing. I know that isn't true, it's just that it sure doesn't feel that way right now. I hope we come out of this stubborn, gloomy time frame soon. I can't stand it! I have no drive at all to do anything with him right now. Something as simple as grooming him takes all my energy away and usually ends up with me sustaining a large amount of bruises, and him getting a not too happy vibe from me.
 On the bright side however I will be buying several new items for him. I am picking up on friday my nice new gel wedge for underneath the saddle. It offers great support for a weak back, protects the back muscles, makes the saddle fit like it should, forms to his shape, and should make him a bit more relaxed. As for me, I hope Udex does feel better from the new pad!! Saturday, maybe even Friday I am looking so forward to giving it a try!! Also, I think I will be supplying Udex with new vitamins. His newfound attitude could be from lack of minerals! I took him off his feed, and starting tomorrow I'm giving it back to him, PLUS more mineral bricks. He will be getting his usual power feed with oil (slowly weaning him back on the oil again.) Am I crazy for giving me already hot horse power feed? That very well could be the case. It's a crazy chance I'm going to take. With his power feed mix he will get the right amount of nutrients, and that could change a bit of his attitude. Besides, I can ride a hot horse, no problem.. It's only the bridling of Udex that gets me!!!! Hee-hee.
 Tomorrow I'm going to try to be strong and do my best to handle the mighty Udex right and not let him get the best of me again!!! I love him so much, and I don't like the feel that neither of us is offering our best. So I'm going to change that tomorrow.. <3

"Rollkur opponents care for horses. Rollkur proponents care more for success."